Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

20 January 2010

January What A Month ... Jan 20, 2010

Well it has been an interesting month. Aside from the mundane of work and coming going from work, the year kicked off very nicely for me.

Let's just say I took some bold steps ending 2009 as I wanted to leave that Decade from Hell good and well behind me. I did a really insane thing - I tendered my resignation without a job in hand. WHAT????? I can hear you go are you insane .ani??? You got kids to raise.

Yeah yeah I know. But when I look back at my decision, I am relieved and I feel alive again. I've got till the end of March 2010 to serve my notice and as I do, I am looking ahead for opportunities that I might grab at and move along.

I guess when there's too much water under the bridge, you can't ignore that the foundation is unsteady and it's time to make bold decisions and move forward. Because being held back by 'what ifs' and 'hows' is not going to get you anywhere - I've learnt that from the last decade. Trust me when I tell you, if you feel strongly about something - do something affirmative towards getting on the better side of it.

At my age, you cannot live in the shadow of fear and doubts, because the world we live in has no place for such like. You have to look at something, assess and move forward. Because all happiness and peace of mind is from within yourself not the people or the environment you find yourself in.

So January kicked itself off. Pretty interesting thus far. Along the course of these first 3 weeks of the new decade and the new year, someone said to me 'We think we have something that's worth taking a shot at, and we're going to do that.'

Everytime I read that line, it gives me goosebumps. One needs to break down that sentence into tiny bits to understand the essence of it. The fact that the entire statement is based on a belief that it's worth taking a shot. There is no known end result. Almost like shooting arrows in the dark we hope it hits what we are aiming for. I realise an interesting point of view from the person who said this. They believe in going the distance for what they believe potentially exists. It's uncharted territory but there's a spirit of adventure in the whole perspective.

And the spirit of adventure is what I'd lost through the Decade of Hell. The spirit of why not, let's give it go, oh well it was worth the trauma ... it seemed I wanted to walk on the safe side behind the drawn lines which in my mind were the barriers to living. I created excuses to why I wouldn't try something, built myself a safe haven in my reasons and barriers and obstacles. And in being safe, I feel like I am suffocating myself into obscurity.

Hell I am a Leo and you know how we lions are always out there in the forefront, making waves, leaving indelible marks on the lives we come in contact with. And for a Leo to sit on the sidelines and watch the circus play is kinda self depreciating if you get what I mean.

So with some thinking and am not sure if it's false bravado, I resigned from the place I once would have sold my life to the devil for. Because I realised, it was time to part and move on. And move on I shall.

One sheds the weights that shackle ones soul and one finds oneself lighter and recharged.

So January kicked off with a rather pleasant surprise which is slowly unfolding itself to my very 'Curious George' mind and it is going to be an adventure - I dunno where it's going, but check me in for the ride *eheheh*

I had both my siblings home and with the usual riff-raffs we exchange, I am convinced there are no others I'd want for siblings ... love my brother and my sister as they are. We went out one night for the usual 'Hokkaido Makan-Makan' session with brother inlaw in tow and friends and we had a riot of food and conversation. And I sat amidst it all just simply reveling in the love and friendship so freely shared.

Then I went out for a Sunday lunch with my sis and bro-inlaw and we had a great Sunday out before they left for Italy. I snuck in a mid-week outing with 2 friends and watched Men In Tutus - this has to be one of the best ballet performances ahaha because all parts are danced by men in literally tutus ... en pointe is not a man thing but these guys are rib-tickling funny and bloody good too. My favourite was the Dying Swan - 6'2 and lanky, he was really too cute with his interpretation of that classic piece :)

And then there was the event I'd been looking forward to from ending of last year. VIMA2010 and what an evening it turned out to be. This news article sorta sums it up for you ... and to top it off I gotta take a picture with my favourite band Deja Voodoo Spells, I got exposed to Benchmarx (sorry guys I just can't seem to load the clip I took of you at VIMA) and there's a whole lot of indie music talent here and from Brunei. You had to be there to know how good it was :)

For a kick off that ain't too bad. But usually January is sorta like a continuation of my December upbeat mood and along the year it starts to get all messed up with unfinished business and new things to deal with. By mid year I am usually just ready for it to end ehehehhe.

I intend however to beat the yearly blues this year and keep it in my mind that it's January all the way .... :) and if we've got something worth giving a shot, then a shot we will give as we embark on new adventures.

Keep you posted what all else comes colour my 2010 canvas ... but I have a feeling it's definitely going to be much more fun than the recent past ... nearing 40 but still 18 in my heart :)) we're shaking tail-feathers and going to live :)

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