Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

3 April 2008

Obituary - Rajh Apr 2, 2008

In the last couple of weeks all I have heard about is people dropping dead all of a sudden out of the blue. Literally! Like flies ... one moment they are there alive, hale healthy talking about their tomorrows, the next you get a call saying they are no more.

Last year in July I, on the day that an unexpected crisis was unfolding within my family context, I found out my listening post friend Pak Long had passed away 2 weeks earlier. I cried all day for a man I had never met in person.

Yesterday evening, before I dashed out in the rain to go grab something from the nearby mall as well as squeeze in a dress search, I was packing up when I decided to check on my prepaid number what my credit was - planned to make a call to a friend in India. Switched on the phone with the sim and waited for it to come on there was a SMS alert. Usually it's just the provider telling me some new rates ...

But I checked it out anyways. I saw oh message from Rajh. How odd he usually texts me on my other mobile. I wondered what was up. I thought it was an April Fool joke when I first read the message and I went to check the date of the text - it came in yesterday evening. I knew it was no joke and my heart stopped in the silence of grief for a friend who has passed on.

Unlike Pak Long, I have actually had lunch with Rajh one afternoon back in 2006 in Bangsar Chillis. We sat talking and joking around. I knew someone he'd dated once long time ago and I was teasing him about that.

Rajh anna and me connected via Yahoo Messenger - ahaaa the bane of my existence. My anti social antidote - online friends ... We connected after a few nonsense posts from him - he was being a typical guy surfing the chats. But somehow after a few shots from me, we started talking sensible and that remained all through our knowing each other.

He was a guy with a sense of humour. A great love for life and living and someone you could talk candidly about life and the passage of time and what lessons were learnt. Being in no better shape than myself as far as knocks and misadventures, he was like a big brother friend who I could call randomly out of the blue too and chat hello hello how things type and it could progress to serious topics.

We spoke last I think sometime January this year. Rajh had finally gotten married last year and he was already in his mid-40s. That was something he'd wanted. To settle down and have a family and enjoy his remaining years. I could not make it for the wedding due to work constraints and he'd always give me a hard time about not coming.

In our last conversation, I'd asked him how he was and that we should meet up again along with wifey - I should meet his wife since she was my brother's wife and we said yeah yeah let's get together soon. Over the weekend as I was clearing friend lists on the various sites/chats I'm on - I saw Rajh name on my friendster account and I thought aaaa I must call him up for tea one of these days - been a while since I had a good laugh. And Monday cam with its deluge of work and I postponed making that call. Soon soon I would I told myself.

Well, soon has turned to never now. I called his number after reading the text and his brother answered the phone. Rajh had been admitted in ICU on the 31st of March and he had suffered a stroke ( I take it was a cardiac arrest) and he passed away in the morning of the 2nd of April. His brother was letting all his mobile contacts know of Rajh demise and funeral details.

I would have liked to send Rajh off today but sometimes when we live in this world, commitments tie us down from taking the time out to smell the roses, coffee as well as the stench in the air. I cannot be there this afternoon when family and friends send Rajh off to his final resting place. I am in black today for I mourn at the loss of a friend. I am sure Rajh will as always have a joke and a smile for me and I would like to remember him that way.

I make no excuses for having not made the extra effort to meet up but I realise that in the times we live in now, we should make every effort to tell the ones who mean something to us that we love them and we care for them and that they mean what they mean to us.

Because like Pak Long, I did not know that Rajh was not going to be around today or in my tomorrows. His time was up. His number got called and he's gone leaving us all in shock and sorrow. I can only imagine how his family must be feeling and his wife as well. Their sense of grief and loss, I cannot fathom but I guess God needed a quirky humoured Event Manager up there seeing as this world is so freaking screwed up.

Rajh anna, for the wonderful memory of the laughs, jokes, advice and friendship although it was only slightly over 2 years .. but indeed they are memories I will treasure. I am sure your friends all miss you as much as I do.

I hate goodbyes. I hate farewells.

I say to you "till we meet again" especially since you still owe me a mega Retro party with you spinning the music with your DJ pals from the 70s and 80s ... that afternoon lunch I met so many of the big names from the disco heydays ... I cannot thank you enough for sharing with me what made Rajh tick :))

If I make it to where you are, we'll be partying Rajh anna - that I am sure of. So till then *kiss kiss* *hug hug* YOU ROCK RAJH and keep on ROCKING!!! You are missed by all who have had the privilege of knowing you.

God Bless and Rest In Peace! Starman196433 ... see you when I get there!