Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

20 June 2009

A Joke Too Far ... June 20, 2009

You know how everyone likes a prank or two especially when you think it's going to be really funny ... well watch this one and tell me if you thought that was funny ...

Spider .... Think about when and where you do something prank like next time ...

Everyone Needs An Angel .... June 20, 2009

Hey I was YouTube surfing and chanced upon this one ... it's approx 14mins ... nice one though ... altho the subtitles are a bit crappy (dialogue is in German) ... but it's a nice feel good clip.

Everyone needs an angel and they come in all packages :))

Enjoy ...
Tanghi Argentini - Nominated for the 2008 Academy Award for Best Live Action Short.

3 June 2009

Rape Blame Game ... Jun 03, 2009

Refer Indian Male Libido Going Haywire and the consequent comments.

This argument inevitably rears its ugly head whenever the topic of rape is raised.

And inevitably, the blame game beings and women are saddled with the blame for their provocative dressing that then led to their rape - hence it surely is the woman's fault.

Then rightly so we ladies will point out that children (unless being in a diaper is considered provocative), grandmothers (this is taking the MILF fascination a bit too far perhaps) and that Muslim countries with burkha clad women also record unbelievable numbers of rape cases.

And all will point and say - woman she is the catalyst to her own terror.

So the boys that are raped by the sick people of the world and yes this is also a growing statistic - can we now then say these boys were provocatively dressed thus calling upon themselves untoward attention leading to rape?

Rape is not confined to girls, it is happening to boys as well.

The pertinent point then is what is the source of all this sexual aggression towards someone who is weaker? Perhaps in addressing that issue, this heinous crime may also be addressed.

I find it is our own contribution by making the subject of sex and sexuality taboo, hence the education of sexuality and sex is unclear. this giving opportunity of interpretation rightly or wrongly so.

It seems we rather skirt around the issues of sexuality and sex education ... educating both men and women on their personal space, their sexuality, and their right to keeping their bodies and themselves away from harm.

I have myself often heard from the mouths of men I held in some level of regard when dealing with a opinionated woman such horrid things like this line which immediately drops them from grace in my eyes. How can you ever condone someone who finds himself out done by a woman's smarts to say that 'she should be gang raped to teach her a lesson'

WTF kinda reasoning or logic is that? You cannot beat her at the game use your dick and so called collective male strength to then break her??? I feel so disgusted by such comments I usually cease my association with that person, unless unavoidable and then I stick to civil courtesies. I feel also compelled to call and raise and alarm bell that we have a potential rapist on the loose.

If he has said it, it means he has THOUGHT about it. The next step is merely a thin line between being human being with logic and rational or one without who can cross that thin line with whatever is deemed right of action for this person.

Perhaps there is no real explanation why people rape. Studies make hypothesises but has that stopped any of this crimes? NO only it rises with each passing moment. The statistics are scary. My hometown Seremban apparently records the highest rape almost on a daily basis - SHITS!!! I live there and I have daughters - how safe are we then?????

Even bloody Erectile Dysfunction sufferers have been known to sodomise their victims - this is also a form of rape ... so what if he used a cucumber or brinjal instead of his penis - someone was still violated most violently!!!!!

There is absolutely nothing to be reaped from hurling blame from one person to the other and especially not on the victim however much 'she had it coming to her' - another WTF type statement in my books - who in their right minds has it coming to be raped???

My take on this - stop with all the fucking blame game and get down to addressing the issue itself without gender, historical bias. Until our children boys and girls, sisters, mothers, wives, aunts, grandmothers girlfriends are safe, there is no use blaming anyone. Support the victim through this harrowing experience (trust me it never leaves you!!!) and get to the crux of the problem.

Apologies, but it sickens me all this blaming here there and no concrete actions taken to help the victims or to address rapists. Why must the victim continue to be victimised - haven't they been hurt enough???

Looking Back With No Regrets .. Jun 03, 2009

The Link if you can't see this

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” --Dr. Leo Buscaglia

This was a Merdeka advertisement by Petronas some years ago. I think when you watch this a few times, you will understand better the message.

And this is really what is missing in Malaysia today, when Malaysians see each other as Malaysians and not by what differentiates us but what makes us all really the same.

If you notice, you get to see Jay Menon too if I am not mistaken as the young Letchumi.

Last night Riddzy shared with me an advert from Petronas on YouTube which sent me on a little walk down festive Petronas adverts and I have to say they still make the best adverts ever. I was crying buckets by the time I went to bed - my typical reaction every time I watch a Petronas advert. Remember the one that created such a furore some years back the Indian boy with his father off to the Declaration of Merdeka? I thought what idiots to those who made all that noise.

That ad till this day gets me all choked up and teary because even though I was not born then, listening to those who were then young adults and children - the atmosphere was just so super charged and it transcended all down to all races. There was not one person who didn't feel totally MALAYSIAN that morning.

How many of us feel the same today I wonder... Am I any less Malaysian if I am not Malay? I think I am more Malaysian though eheheh because I am the result of the mix of many.

Let us find our unity again for the future of this country. Enjoy ....

CV - The Way To Go ... Jun 03, 2009

You have to take a look see at this link because this chap is quite a genius ... now if only I knew some funky programming I might do something of the like ahahahhh

This guy posted his resume as an animated musical on the net and he really got hired by Microsoft Graphics team. He received job offers from 180 companies; and more than 1,000,000 people viewed this CV...

The link: Alexandre Gueniot

A bit of mid-week entertainment ... seeing as many of us are wondering how to get the right people to hire us for what we're worth :)))

1 June 2009

A Change Of Guard ... Jun 01, 2009

This morning having to drag my sorry ass out of bed and motivate myself into driving the distance to work was hard enough I thought. Then I came into the office and there was hardly anyone around - not sure if they are on leave or these people have silently resigned and gone.

Then I had a short quick conversation with someone I worked with previously and who when I came back here had moved up in management. A really awesome person and back when we were on projects together a great buddy too.

So when I asked him how things were going and he said he was leaving - man suddenly I felt like this is just so not right man!! Everyone I knew from the old days has gone. Barring maybe a handful who also seem to be on at times on their last tethers.

I cannot explain the feeling but I too have to admit, I want out. I want to move on and do something more fulfilling and satisfying for myself and my quality of life overall. All this driving back and forth. The extremely lousy pay, endlessly shoved around till I am thinking sheez what is this all leading to? I feel unwanted unappreciated and this translates into feeling worthless.

But the thing is I am not worthless. I have a good brain and I put in my effort more than 100% when on the field on the job because I hate being caught with my pants down (- figuratively speaking that is).

Time to revisit my cash situation. Revisit all my little plans in my head - I know they can work, I just need the market niche and I think it exists. But finances - that's my problem. To venture into business, one must have cash. And I don't have it ready. What I have is a hand to mouth existence on a monthly basis.

But then again, all mega rich people today unless born into it like Paris Hilton, is a rags to riches story. I am sure if I get all my guts and gumption together and kick it off, I will stay the course to making it happen. It's that first kickoff.

The uncertainty and the fear of losing what little moolah I have and the fact it's not just me I have to worry about, I have the girls too. I want to make things happen because I want to give my girls the best. Its double the challenge being a single mom but others have not been held back, so me thinks me also can do it. I just need that first believe in myself.

I need to believe it will happen and even if it fails the first few times, it will happen because my intentions are in the right place as is my heart. I am not going out there to swindle and cheat people. My plans are about enhancing their quality of life perhaps in some small way.

Come on ani, let's get cracking on the feasibility angles. I got to get some rough sketches out. Get a marketing pitch worked out (a bit rusty seeing as I have not done marketing in almost 15 yrs). So it's coming to this yaar .. I mean I want to end my 30s with something successful. It has been a harrowing decade of so many down down down I kinda forgotten what being up feels like.

I know I'm meant to be heading upwards, but what is the modus operandi I should embark on. I keep coming back to one point. I have to venture out on my own. Enough salary slavery ... time to plunge headlong into things like I'd planned when I was still with spouse - although he never let me quit work perhaps he had no faith in me and my talents. But he sure has contributed to my 30s being so tsunamied ehehehehehe only thing I've learned from this is to keep paddling like crazy below the surface to stay afloat ... so I believe then if I venture into the unknown self employed sector, I will keep at it till it gets to where I want to be.

I owe it to myself and my girls and also to all the people who believe in me that I am good, better and even the best in some areas. Everyday I think about it a little more, and I feel I am getting to the point where I will one day wake up and say this is the day, chuck the dead end job that has no satisfaction but a cheque at the end of the month, and move into the unchartered.

Stay tuned, am sure it will come when you least expect it on one of my totally insane days I will say ENOUGH and move away ...

Happy Week All ... and I guess a change of guard is not out of the norm, all boils down to the fact that the only constant is change. Embrace it or break away :)