Worth A Read ... May 13, 2009

I think this piece is definitely worth sharing and a read ... A Million May 13s by Farish A Noor because if you are like me born in the 70s and were of the old curriculum of the 70s/80s in primary and as you progressed on into secondary in the 80s you will realise by the time you were studying History for your STPM paper - this seemed to be a different Malaysian History from what you remembered from primary.

You will also remember a time when races mixed freely and respected each other. And you would also remember the subtle but wave of change that took place which leaves you with a bitter taste and sadness that what was once the pride of being a Malaysian is now merely for TDC type documentaries otherwise we are a polarised segregated lot with mostly unfounded fears being drummed into our heads by sad excuses of politicians who get where they are by constantly stirring and adding more bits to the continuous threat apparently everyone else poses to them the 'chosen'.

Makes me sick that my daughters will never know what it means to have friends from every race speak eat celebrate each other. Instead in school supposedly intergrated goverment schools they are reminded repeatedly they are the outsiders and befriending one of the chosen is taboo.

All I can say is you bloody fooking policians have right buggered this country ... ENOUGH!!!! But alas, I am but perhaps a small collection of dreamers fighting our own extinction.

Enough of this fear and bullshit you perpetuate!! Give me back my Malaysia not your cerita dongeng (myths/fables) versions that you are now making to be fact and truth!

Ruminating ... May 13, 2009

This is another one of those random words that suddenly takes me hostage. Ruminating ... and so I had to go look it up.

According to Wiki and I took this one liner coz it sorta summarises the activity i.e. The process of rechewing the cud to further break down plant matter and stimulate digestion is called "ruminating".

Now over time, this has been also expanded in it's usage to mean to meditate or ponder, to turn something over and over again in one's mind.

I rarely use the word ruminating, but I felt it appropriate as I was reading the notes of someone on my Facebook friend list. And I came up with a point of view about this habit or addiction to ruminating. Let me be the first to say, I am often found to be turning things over and over in my mind staring at it from different angles all the time.

What I have come to learn is a drawback on this process is that it solely hinges on the state of mind the individual is in. If one is in a whining sorta frame of mind and one only sees oneself as being wronged (and I've been there and still sometimes find myself there - working on this mindset) then all the ruminating results will be clouded with the evil of the world and how the world is out to get me the one who is struggling to be righteous in an evil evil time ... sorta like the time in which Sauron seeks his ever powerful ring in LTOR ... you know what I mean?? Remember the shit that happened before the ring was destroyed. Well what I've come to realise is one ruminates as in ponder and not the cud chewing ya ... this state of mind holds the key to how we might move forward or regress ourselves.

Often the catalyst to this exercise is disappointment or pain one might have to endure in one's life. Indirectly or directly we find something to place the blame on. Of course being the sort of person I am I tend to start off rather negatively and as my buddy Mohan aka Squirrel Dude's Friend (hehe) would say I whine through my blogs - and I admit I do when I feel hurt, bertrayed, afraid .... I also tend to over time revisit the same issue and look at it from different angles. Other possible perspectives, I talk about it to people I feel can give me feedback without bias and prejudice and if they disagree with me, I am not offended because the more important point to me is what were they seeing that I didn't see.

I used to hate people disagreeing with me. But time and perhaps age has a role to play here. Maybe even the circumstances of my life thus far have began to lead me into reviewing with the intention to see what the macro and micro elements were that caused the problems or became issues. Disagreements are natural in our social existence, how we deal with them is what sets us apart from the masses. I'm just learning this and my approach is I'd rather at the onset lay out that I agree to disagree and that it should be just that.

Anyhow as I type this out, I find myself chewing and chewing and chewing ... apparently on ice mentos gum ... and I find that I can unconsciously keep chewing the same piece of gum for hours without realising that I am and that with this chewing activity, my mind wanders and ponders and gathers information, seives through it and classifies it. Conversations, emails, bits of trivia I pick up along the way ... continuously my brain is in a state of rumination whilst apparently my mouth is like that of a ruminant which is a mammal of the order Artiodactyla - heeheheh such funny images crossed my mind now - go check out the type of animals in this grouping. Perhaps I am more a ruminant now as a result of long periods of vegetarian practices ehehehehehheeheh.

But ok so I have rambled on again. I hope all the ruminating this person is currently going through eventually eases their pain or misery. I cannot tell really. Sometimes some people choose to be in constant state of pain. I know I am moving away from that state of mind and as I evaluate the pains, I look forward with hope and plans to live the remaining years of my life in a state of contentment and happiness within my means.

Now back to cud oh I mean gum chewing ... and pondering ....