I am constantly on a learning curve. And the one thing that facinates me more than information is ironically me. I am a completely uncomprehensible person even to myself. But I have come to learn some things about myself living in this sandpit the last 11 months.
- I REALLY suffer fools poorly
- It upsets me when I have nothing tangible to reflect upon at the close of each day
- I am VERY afraid of love or anything to do with it
- I might make a little more money than I did but it doesn't solve much of problems in fact it creates more and more and more
- I cannot attend church here without coming away feeling repulsed and agitated that I'd rather not go to church but wait to be home and visit my own childhood parish where I feel most at home
- Am not a bra burner but men (and women) who think a woman's place is 3 steps behind brainless mutton heads should be hung by their toenails and flogged
- Has grown tired of being Super Woman, and would like to just be me a messed up vulnerable scared female looking for a little understanding and a break from trying to solve the problems of the world, and have someone take care of me instead
- Finds it extremely nerve-wrecking that the one male specimen who seems to completely understand and stand by me in all of my worst and lowest points since coming to this sandpit and in complete blind fate accepts and loves me as is would unsuspectingly elevate me to the category of Cougar of the not-hootchie-mama kind
- That even as the clock ticks closer to 40 I still feel on somedays no older than 17 in soul even whilst looking at the completely out of shape reflection in the mirror and the countless strands of grey and on other days closer to the grave with every step and breath
- I have an amazing threshold for pain and disappointment - that even as it keeps piling skywards, I still manage to carry on with a toothy grin a kind word a joke to make someone else laugh
- That even though I accept separation from people I love fairly easily, I CANNOT come to terms with being away from my girls and at times I find myself all choked and teary just thinking of them - being mommy long distance sucks!
In usual technology fashion the rest that I typed out here was eaten in the internet world of Etisalat ... and so here's my incomplete list of learning ani - an ever on-going subject of study by the Terrible Threesome of Me Myself and I :)
Be well my friends ...
