Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

6 May 2008

Yummy Crabs ... 06 May, 2008

On Labour Day (1st May) ma headed off to some place in Port Dickson to go do some fishing - here largely meaning she went a load of ladies to the jetty area where the fishing boats came in with their fresh catch from the sea.

Ma returned with a several types of fish and some prawns and some crabs. Now the last time I sat down and enjoyed a good feast of crabs I think was when Babs (my sis) took me to this place in Ampang New Village right after Jacob walked out on me to try and cheer me up.

Mind you Babs had been vegetarian for some years then and kinda was non-vegan just for me ... we pigged out on prawn fish and 2 large Sri Lankan crabs ... yummylicious ... although at that time eating was such a chore with my head in a whirl, my heart aching and a future that was all tumultuous and uncertain.

The last time I would have had home cooked crabs with the family recipe would be way too many years ago to remember. I also on the day learnt how to clean crabs. Not an easy job but luckily these sea crabs
were out of commission by the time I stuck my hands in to clean them :) PHEW! I've had the unpleasant experience of having my fingers snapped at by those river crabs (??) you know the kind that are often found by the mouth of the river where it meets the sea or marshland crabs ... black buggers with huge nasty pincers??

Man suddenly had a memory flashback of those crabs all strung together with their pincers lynched with string... anyways those are childhood moments one can never recapture although the feeling and emotions remain fresh in ones mind.

So the plan had been to have crab on Sunday - naturally this did not happen as we were all tired out after the surrpise little breakfast do in Amama's church to celebrate her 80th birthday.

On the 30th of April we managed a small me, Ashna, Kasha, ma and the maid celebration in Amama's house ...

So where was I oh Sunday and the crabs ... right that didn't happen so Ma decided to cook them on Monday night. And I was tied up in the office till 10:30pm so eating crabs at midnight was not a well come idea. Told Ma to save mine for today.

Needless to say ... tonight I made extra effort to leave office at a reasonable hour to head home to my yummy crabs ... aaaaaaaaaa *drool drool drool* got home wiped out the rest of the food minus the rice and sat down to dig into my crabs ...

I must say, the crabs were fresh little blue crabs and the flesh so sweet and succulent. Added with the sweetness of the ground spices and grated coconut ... I was in heaven ... even little crevice of those crustaceans I made sure was without anything resembling crab meat haahah ....

AAaahhhhhhhhhh talk about food satisfaction man! I am sooooooo stuffed now can hardly waddle to the shower or to bed so I sit here thinking that was a good meal if any ... compliments to the chef :))

Now to figure out how to fall asleep at some juncture ... BBUUuurrrppppp! Oops! Excuse me...

It's Been A While Since I Last Wrote 06 May,2008

Which should really be a welcome relief to anyone who finds these here ramblings annoying.

I should take the stance of "I don't a ****, it's my blog anyhow!" but that's not really the right attitude of a wannabe writer of some salt is it? I apologise then for the tardiness.

But it seems that aside from the ever increasing work pressure from the one job I call 'Titanic', nothing much else of any significant importance is happening. And I am not likely to commence creating happenings - I believe I must have experienced it first to write about it. But then again, I write and hence the creative inspiration is not something that you or I can control.

When an idea flashes through my brain, I take fingers to keyboard and tap away some words and hope they makes sense to somebody out there.

Should I then now make promises to be more diligent in scratching together some words? I'd better not. Not like I have some legion of fans or anything. But still it is always best not to promise what one cannot commit to.

Like relationships, like marriage, like parenting - although with parenting, once you're in it there's really no turning back the clock and making the little ones disappear. One can do that with a relationship even with a marriage.

Hey, I learnt this going by Jacob's standards - he's made me learn quite a bit about men, especially the slime ball types - they are the most smooth operators. Once they got you in their clutches, then true colours will show. Anyhows this is not another revisit to the Jacob Years ... (although I know I do tend to brood over some instances from that time in my writings. This is unfortunately the end result of dissecting each event to such minute detail as I analyse and re-analyse the events that took place and led me to this point in time.

It's not really good for the soul. But nevertheless, good lesson learnt time material. Reflection on one's errors and mistakes is good sporadically and with objectivity.

Lately I have been swamped work wise. And that's kinda taking a toll on my overall wellness of being - I am exhausted in mind, spirit and body. None of this affirmative thinking is helping but wait perhaps the universe in its wonderful ability to not listen to me is again only picking up the thoughts I am trying hard to eliminate and hence instead of positive affirmation I have negative reiteration.

*SIGH* ...

I have a few ideas rolling about in my head on pieces I would like to write here and share but with the many interruptions to thought process, I find I cannot yet to do justice to these pieces and so I have decided to wait till my frame of mind is clear and the perspectives in which I wish to address they are also clearly formulated in my mind.

In time I shall come back - hopefully with a bang not a whimper :))

Till then happy trails all ...