Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

30 July 2009

Things That Make Me Sleepless ... July 30, 2009

Ok if you been following the Teoh Beng Hock case, something you read in the papers today is going to make you suddenly suspicious where this is all leading to ... but please to read this and tell me what you think.

The findings of another unknown male's DNA on his blazer and belt - alarm bells alarm bells ... at least I am glad they did not find it in his nether regions or undergarments because all of a sudden this problem free guy might find himself in death being framed by the DNA finding - I wonder if our so sharp investigators are going to be able to identify who this unknown male is - but again I remain skeptical, afterall in this country anything boleh become fact even if everyone else knows it's a mythical creation of evidence. So we now have to wait with bated breathe for the scene to unfold. But why are the alarm bells ringing so loudly in my head??? I am sure if you had half a brain you'd know why too.

This next piece of news makes me want to demand till my last breath all this bloody gangster glorifying shit ass movies especially from Tamil genre be banned banned banned. Didn't anyone realise something was amiss??? Now one more dead lawyer (not that I particularly like lawyers ok seeing how most of them are blood sucking leeches - but that's another story for another day) and if you look at the sequence of things, I'd say I'd have raised a concern that my life was in danger. Cheh wah cheh wah ... go up to a temple force someone to consume something that killed him with renal failure. Dei this not Tamil movie la enough of this nonsense!!! (**pliss to use your best Tamil movie English accent wokai**)

THIS has to take the cake la ... first kris waving, now order police to take action against people voicing out what they feel is a totally inhumane law. Only in Malaysia oh wait are we going the way of 'democratic' Iran??? Mr. Minister aren't people in a democracy allowed to voice out their thoughts? or is the Malaysian Democracy one that keeps only certain people safe and happy. Now I am really getting to insomniac state - what with all these worries on how this country is governed and where we are heading to. **sigh** Obviously the boys in blue are merely the puppets - when told they do. Theirs is not to question why.

Some of you might have read my Facebook updates yesterday about my morning trauma on the way to work yesterday. I almost had the unfortunate luck of running over a man who was knocked down by someone else on the ELITE highway. Now the interesting thing was that 5 minutes before I came upon this scary moment of my driving life, my usual 'nemesis' on the road a certain Satria Neo - this female has got to be one of those drivers that really just want to step up to and slap some sense into her thick head - driving at 160km/hr and eyes on your mobile texting is just not happening la!!!

And yesterday morning I was driving a different car so she might not have realised it was me without Charles whose butt she has to 'cucuk' aka tailgate like a maniac. As she passed me by and I noted her usual style of eyes NOT on the road I thought 'You are so going to pay one of these days' ... now as fate would play it - in 5 mins there she was ahead of me obviously part of the accident that I almost came to be a part of had I not been able to avoid running over the man laying on the road.

Thankfully God's hand was with me at that very moment and I sailed past the car on my right, the debris on the road and the man to my left barely missing him, before I noticed her and all I could do was be fucking mad at her because she so deserved it. I noted her bumper was pretty damaged. I called emergency assistance immediately. I dunno what she did next, personally I don't care. I had a pregnant passenger on board and that was my main concern not killing the man and not killing my passenger.

I called up later to check and was told that it was not a fatal accident - PHEW means the man was alive when I passed him - which then means had I lost my cool and panicked I would have been the one that killed him - and I would not have been the one who had caused him to be laying there on the road. It was one of the scariest moments of my 7 years of driving. Probably not my last, seeing as Malaysians love to dice with death, and I have to be extra extra extra vigilant to ensure me and my passengers never end up in an accident.

Did not see her this morning - for obvious reasons, but then this morning there was another female in a MyVi and I thought girl you better be careful. And then I asked God to keep us all safe because lately, I have realised people who have hurt me unforgivably by their actions and I have been angry enough to curse them have had tragedy befall them .... all within a spate of 8 weeks ... it didn't occur to me at the time. But when I was thinking about it and I was relating the incidents randomly to friends, they all said .ani you're not one to cross now, it seems your thoughts are powerful.

Hahahahahahah I had to laugh. Because had my thoughts really been so effective in getting the desired results I can see one issue having been resolved a long time ago. But then again, I know every time I have come close to cursing this person, I have stopped myself because at the end of the day, this person's life is entwined in some form to mine. Damn my conscience!!!

Having said that though, if I have dreamt of someone 3x in a row, I have to warn you - usually something really bad happens to them or worse they die. If you hurt me so much I cannot ever forgive you and you cease to exist in my life, trust me, you will feel the pain you caused me in some form or manner. Perhaps then sometimes I have to consciously remind myself that people are the way they are for reasons only known to themselves and I should not obliterate them from my mind, because then well they seem to have some misfortune befall them. This makes me sleepless because I have to question why this has happened, and what forces are in play and where will this lead me to.

The mind is a very powerful both friend and foe. I am learning to use my thoughts for my own self growth without detriment to others. Now that I have acknowledged that sometimes my mind sees far ahead whilst I choose to ignore it's warnings and signs of what is to come.

Now if only I could use my mind to control certain elements to all align themselves into my favour - be great dontcha think??? But alas for now, I can only smell danger before I see, which has me put myself into anti-crash mode gear ... and navigate and come out unscathed as possible. Perhaps a little more practice and I might start to realign my misaligned stars **eheheheheh**

Off I go .... catch ya dolls later - and perhaps I am just delusional haahahha perhaps ......

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