I think it's one of the most simple teachings that people should incorporate into their day to day activities. Me thinks the rewards intangible as they often are, remain far more satisfying then gold bullions by the truck loads. (ok ok I mean if I had one truck load of gold bullions, I know I'd be a happy puppy)
But kindness like common sense which we have long since agreed is not so common. In the dog eat dog world we live in, plussed with the number of scammers and tricksters we come into contact with at every level somewhat leaves us all poofed out of kindness.
I mean when you're having lunch or dinner on any given day at some open air type food courts or kopi tiams, are you not suddenly overcast with a shadow and you look up from your food to have someone stuff some papers in your face asking for a donation of some kind.
You have famished looking folks ringing your doorbell asking for water, asking for food - sometimes you give them what they want they go on, sometimes you give them what they want, they end up taking your stuff and hurting your family. The world has gone all nutty.
I know often when beseiged by people asking for money for one thing or the other, I tend to shake my head with a firm no and ignore them hence forth ... have had a few of those who stuff things in your hand and ask for money and say if you give it back bad luck will befall you ... and trust me I am not sure what transpired in those moments, come away to find my wallet is somewhat relieved of my hard earned cash ... so it's a no no these days.
But having said that, sometimes the sight of the elderly tottering around and rummaging in garbage picking things up really tears at me heart. I wonder where they come from, I wonder where their children are and how can they be left like this alone to fend for themselves. And I think what if this was my mom or dad or grandma ... oh hell what if this was me in 30 years time.
I mean I am sure I am raising Ashna and Kasha with good values (although self first is something I am battling with over and over again but they are still kids in a learning curve, I know some adults who have never outgrown the 'me first' syndrome) and even if they cannot be with me, they will make sure I am comfortable with decent meals a day - at least I think they'd do that much for mommy (fingers crossed)
On a few occasions even when I was a student running for the bus in the infamous Puduraya and anyone using that bus-station would know how the beggars line the bridge you use to get into the station. There used to be a mother back then with some 2 toddlers and one baby in her arm begging. Foreigners for sure. Perhaps part of some syndicate. There were times I'd buy baby formula for her baby. Or give some clothes for the kids but never money. She would be hard pressed to accept the goods - perhaps whoever was in charge of her collections might suspect her of having siphoned some off for these buys that she'd refuse and insist on money ... mind you if I were to have given any money I think it would have been like a ringgit at max, but she'd refuse infant formula strange woman ... in the end I'd just put it beside her and walk away ... it was up to her what she did with it.
There are a few other homeless people I see around the usual places I go to, usually drunk to the max and wobbling along the street and they'd ask me for money. I just refuse most times because I know they will use it for either another round of cheap liquor or fix. But if they ever opened their mouth and said they wanted money for food, if not in too much of a rush, I'd go buy some food and give it to them. Giving money in such circumstances is like inviting the Devil to tea - you know what I mean?
Well this morning, I had another one of those moments. I was driving Ashna to her music class and as we turned into the side lane, I notice the parking next to her class was empty. So I parked and then I looked up and in front of me was an old Chinese lady holding a rattan walker type thing and she was mumbling. At first I thought oh oh I parked in front of a crazy lady ... gedangit! don't need her to hit me car or anything.
I had to top the parking meter up and so while I was putting the coins in, I caught snippets of her mumbling. She was asking me for a ringgit to get some food. So I turned around and asked her "auntie mau makan ka?" And she went on telling me about the stingy man she worked for who refuses to give her a job now when she needs it more growing old and no one to care for her. I looked at her face and thought she could likely be somebody's mom or grandma, and where were these people. She could also be loony but the fact she said she wanted to eat, made me give in.
I had the ringgit she asked for but I took out a bigger note and put in her hands and said "auntie pegi makan ya" and because we were running late, I did not take her myself to someplace to get the food. As I turned to leave in her broken Malay she said to me in loose translation, that I had such a big heart. And she said she will pray to all the Gods to bless me in my work, in my life and that good fortune be mine hundred fold ... I was embarrassed slightly because she was quite loud and people passing were giving the funny eye you know what I mean.
I shyly said thank you and reminded her to get something to eat and hurried along. I didn't feel any greater a person for having given her some money, but I have to say whether sincerely or not her wishes for my benefit made me feel like wings on my feet and lighter hearted.
Financially I myself sometimes feel like a charity needy case (none forthcoming from anywhere eheheh DAMN!!) but I always believe that if we are kind to people, someone somewhere when least expected will lend us a helping hand when we need it.
I know I am blessed with family and friends who care for me immensely. And I know that there are many people in as many far reaching parts of the world who would go to great lengths if I asked for a favour. But its not in the knowing of this that makes me feel better but that in reaching out to total strangers especially when their lives seem desolate and hopeless, one's sudden unplanned kindness renews their belief in the world and living.
This I have come to learn as a fact from the numerous times, strangers and friends have shown me kindness that has made my gray skied day suddenly a palate of rainbow colours.
Two very recent instances were from Nazeen who spent Halloween evening with me in Modesto KL having dinner and chatting while we waited for the Retro Bar to kick in with the promised music (which incidentally when we left at 11pm had yet to commence) and this was like at a drop of a hat decision because Naz didn't want me to be alone and blue on what should have been a celebration of a decade of marriage ... so we made it a girls evening out and talked about things that mattered to us. For that wonderful evening and the fact she did ditch hubby at home to spend it with me was really spirit raising - I love you Naz!! MUAKS!
The other was yesterday afternoon. I had been all geared up to spend the evening out in the company of some friends seeing as it also was supposed to be the farewell do of my chinaman best friend Uncle D. But due to unforseen circumstances that was postponed to next Tuesday. So was a bit in a mood by noon when the Accounts Exec called me to tell me they'd not banked my salary in and I'd have to do a bank run myself - AARRGGGGGHHHHHHH.
So when my pal codenamed "Skinny Ass" text me about some happy news on his side, my response was likely less than enthusiastic. Some time later while standing in the bank, I read another text of his and replied with a "haahahahah sorry but in a sorry ass bad mood now", I got a reply saying "I guessed as much, call you in a bit" ... when .ani is in a bad mood, seeing as I had to go lunch hour to Tmn Tun, park a gezillion miles away and walk in the hot sun to and from the bank ... I was like yeah whatever (I know I know oh .ani of so little faith!).
Hence an hour or so later when my phone rang and I saw his number on the screen, I have to say I broke into a smile. We were kinda bitching about some things and taking the piss outta each other on some other things, at the end of that conversation I had laughed so much and happy hormones was flooding me and I just had a happy plastered smile on me face for the rest of the time I was in the office. "Skinny Ass "is also going through some tough times of his own (who isn't right??) and his kind gesture to call me up was really very touching.
Like I said, kindness when least expected has an amazing way of setting a riot of happy hormones through you and I know it did for me ... and so Skinny Ass and Naz, I thank you both for making my Halloween this year a little extra special especially in a time when I've been feeling a little rollercoaster with all the shitty things going on. So many others out there who whenever they sense .ani is down they reach out to me in so many ways to make me pull up me socks and haul me ass back on to the journey I am on reaffirming that kindness always begets kindness in return.
To the wonderful people who are my friends, thank you darlings for loving .ani as is and I send you all my love and best wishes always ...
~~happy weekend all catch you in the next week recharged and ready to take on the world~~
But kindness like common sense which we have long since agreed is not so common. In the dog eat dog world we live in, plussed with the number of scammers and tricksters we come into contact with at every level somewhat leaves us all poofed out of kindness.
I mean when you're having lunch or dinner on any given day at some open air type food courts or kopi tiams, are you not suddenly overcast with a shadow and you look up from your food to have someone stuff some papers in your face asking for a donation of some kind.
You have famished looking folks ringing your doorbell asking for water, asking for food - sometimes you give them what they want they go on, sometimes you give them what they want, they end up taking your stuff and hurting your family. The world has gone all nutty.
I know often when beseiged by people asking for money for one thing or the other, I tend to shake my head with a firm no and ignore them hence forth ... have had a few of those who stuff things in your hand and ask for money and say if you give it back bad luck will befall you ... and trust me I am not sure what transpired in those moments, come away to find my wallet is somewhat relieved of my hard earned cash ... so it's a no no these days.
But having said that, sometimes the sight of the elderly tottering around and rummaging in garbage picking things up really tears at me heart. I wonder where they come from, I wonder where their children are and how can they be left like this alone to fend for themselves. And I think what if this was my mom or dad or grandma ... oh hell what if this was me in 30 years time.
I mean I am sure I am raising Ashna and Kasha with good values (although self first is something I am battling with over and over again but they are still kids in a learning curve, I know some adults who have never outgrown the 'me first' syndrome) and even if they cannot be with me, they will make sure I am comfortable with decent meals a day - at least I think they'd do that much for mommy (fingers crossed)
On a few occasions even when I was a student running for the bus in the infamous Puduraya and anyone using that bus-station would know how the beggars line the bridge you use to get into the station. There used to be a mother back then with some 2 toddlers and one baby in her arm begging. Foreigners for sure. Perhaps part of some syndicate. There were times I'd buy baby formula for her baby. Or give some clothes for the kids but never money. She would be hard pressed to accept the goods - perhaps whoever was in charge of her collections might suspect her of having siphoned some off for these buys that she'd refuse and insist on money ... mind you if I were to have given any money I think it would have been like a ringgit at max, but she'd refuse infant formula strange woman ... in the end I'd just put it beside her and walk away ... it was up to her what she did with it.
There are a few other homeless people I see around the usual places I go to, usually drunk to the max and wobbling along the street and they'd ask me for money. I just refuse most times because I know they will use it for either another round of cheap liquor or fix. But if they ever opened their mouth and said they wanted money for food, if not in too much of a rush, I'd go buy some food and give it to them. Giving money in such circumstances is like inviting the Devil to tea - you know what I mean?
Well this morning, I had another one of those moments. I was driving Ashna to her music class and as we turned into the side lane, I notice the parking next to her class was empty. So I parked and then I looked up and in front of me was an old Chinese lady holding a rattan walker type thing and she was mumbling. At first I thought oh oh I parked in front of a crazy lady ... gedangit! don't need her to hit me car or anything.
I had to top the parking meter up and so while I was putting the coins in, I caught snippets of her mumbling. She was asking me for a ringgit to get some food. So I turned around and asked her "auntie mau makan ka?" And she went on telling me about the stingy man she worked for who refuses to give her a job now when she needs it more growing old and no one to care for her. I looked at her face and thought she could likely be somebody's mom or grandma, and where were these people. She could also be loony but the fact she said she wanted to eat, made me give in.
I had the ringgit she asked for but I took out a bigger note and put in her hands and said "auntie pegi makan ya" and because we were running late, I did not take her myself to someplace to get the food. As I turned to leave in her broken Malay she said to me in loose translation, that I had such a big heart. And she said she will pray to all the Gods to bless me in my work, in my life and that good fortune be mine hundred fold ... I was embarrassed slightly because she was quite loud and people passing were giving the funny eye you know what I mean.
I shyly said thank you and reminded her to get something to eat and hurried along. I didn't feel any greater a person for having given her some money, but I have to say whether sincerely or not her wishes for my benefit made me feel like wings on my feet and lighter hearted.
Financially I myself sometimes feel like a charity needy case (none forthcoming from anywhere eheheh DAMN!!) but I always believe that if we are kind to people, someone somewhere when least expected will lend us a helping hand when we need it.
I know I am blessed with family and friends who care for me immensely. And I know that there are many people in as many far reaching parts of the world who would go to great lengths if I asked for a favour. But its not in the knowing of this that makes me feel better but that in reaching out to total strangers especially when their lives seem desolate and hopeless, one's sudden unplanned kindness renews their belief in the world and living.
This I have come to learn as a fact from the numerous times, strangers and friends have shown me kindness that has made my gray skied day suddenly a palate of rainbow colours.
Two very recent instances were from Nazeen who spent Halloween evening with me in Modesto KL having dinner and chatting while we waited for the Retro Bar to kick in with the promised music (which incidentally when we left at 11pm had yet to commence) and this was like at a drop of a hat decision because Naz didn't want me to be alone and blue on what should have been a celebration of a decade of marriage ... so we made it a girls evening out and talked about things that mattered to us. For that wonderful evening and the fact she did ditch hubby at home to spend it with me was really spirit raising - I love you Naz!! MUAKS!
The other was yesterday afternoon. I had been all geared up to spend the evening out in the company of some friends seeing as it also was supposed to be the farewell do of my chinaman best friend Uncle D. But due to unforseen circumstances that was postponed to next Tuesday. So was a bit in a mood by noon when the Accounts Exec called me to tell me they'd not banked my salary in and I'd have to do a bank run myself - AARRGGGGGHHHHHHH.
So when my pal codenamed "Skinny Ass" text me about some happy news on his side, my response was likely less than enthusiastic. Some time later while standing in the bank, I read another text of his and replied with a "haahahahah sorry but in a sorry ass bad mood now", I got a reply saying "I guessed as much, call you in a bit" ... when .ani is in a bad mood, seeing as I had to go lunch hour to Tmn Tun, park a gezillion miles away and walk in the hot sun to and from the bank ... I was like yeah whatever (I know I know oh .ani of so little faith!).
Hence an hour or so later when my phone rang and I saw his number on the screen, I have to say I broke into a smile. We were kinda bitching about some things and taking the piss outta each other on some other things, at the end of that conversation I had laughed so much and happy hormones was flooding me and I just had a happy plastered smile on me face for the rest of the time I was in the office. "Skinny Ass "is also going through some tough times of his own (who isn't right??) and his kind gesture to call me up was really very touching.
Like I said, kindness when least expected has an amazing way of setting a riot of happy hormones through you and I know it did for me ... and so Skinny Ass and Naz, I thank you both for making my Halloween this year a little extra special especially in a time when I've been feeling a little rollercoaster with all the shitty things going on. So many others out there who whenever they sense .ani is down they reach out to me in so many ways to make me pull up me socks and haul me ass back on to the journey I am on reaffirming that kindness always begets kindness in return.
To the wonderful people who are my friends, thank you darlings for loving .ani as is and I send you all my love and best wishes always ...
~~happy weekend all catch you in the next week recharged and ready to take on the world~~
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