Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

27 June 2008

Answer to Failed Suicide? June 27, 2008

11 Killed as man 'attempts suicide' - a tragedy that took place 3 years ago in Los Angeles.

Juan Manuel Alvarez tried to commit suicide by parking his car on the railway tracks in LA one morning 3 years ago. When he changed his mind at the last minutes, his car would not start.

The end result of this botched suicide was 11 deaths and 180 injuries to passengers on board the train the fateful morning - January 26, 2005.

In the 2 month long trial that has kicked off he has been charged with 11 counts of murder which the sentence is death. Prosecution says he did it to get attention, defense says suicide was the intention, but he changed his mind.

How ironic.

So now if the verdict is guilty and the death sentence is meted out, what began as suicide attempt with a last minute change of heart, will conclude with the law deciding that his life should come to an abrupt end.

He had to wait 3 years to come to this.

Of course this being the USofA, I am sure that there will be 2 groups of protesters - wanna bet?

Group 1 will be protesting to save this man's life because he was not able to discern the impact of his action as a result of whatever motivating factor at the time - although his moment of indecision resulted in 11 others who most likely were planning their day out, thinking of home in the evening, the future abruptly ended even before they could say goodbye to all who mattered to them.

Group 2 will be protesting the loss of innocent lives and that indeed Alvarez should be given the death sentence.

Some years later - someone will make this a Hollywood movie and then Alvarez or his Estate (depending on the outcome of the verdict) may or may not sue for inappropriate depiction of the man. This is afterall USofA ... thankfully it is not Malaysia, with C4 so easily available, cloak and dagger politics and tse-tse bitten premier leading the nation! PHEW!

These 11 never knew what hit them or why their number was called up that faithful day when likely their idea of such a moment may have lay some 2-3 decades down the rode.

On the other hand, we have Juan, who intentionally drove unto the tracks, turned off his engine and waited for the end. God only knows what apparently made him 'change' his mind. Did he really change his mind? Did he really try to move his vehicle, but it refused to respond to his attempts to do so?

Was his number not yet due to be called up, that despite a train ramming into his vehicle, 3 years later he is alive only to now have his life in balance according to the decision of a jury. Of course they could find him not guilty of murder, maybe unintentional manslaughter (is there such a thing?)

I mean the fact that he was parked on the tracks tells you that somewhere in that brain of his he must have concluded that aside from his own orchestrated demise, he would be at the very least taking the unsuspecting train driver along with him. Did he not extrapolate to see the quantum of his act? His wasn't the only life to be lost if he had succeeded.

Seeing that he survived, and 11 others died. Another 180 were injured. I wonder if he feels any remorse, guilt anger at himself? Does he wait eagerly for a death sentence? Or is he repentant that so many others live with a pain caused by his self centred act?

I cannot judge him really. But I found this whole piece sorta ironic. He wanted to die, ended up taking the lives of others and himself escaped death and now other will decide if he lives or dies.

Then I got to thinking what if the 11 who lost their lives were themselves thinking of ending it due to whatever socia-political-economical-demographical reasons. Then perhaps, Alvarez here merely was element to trigger their 'Apocalypse' so to speak.

Anyways, I heard it on the news this morning, and I thought what a strange world. What makes us think we are the decision makers whether we die or live? There's always some unforeseen unpredictable force or element out there that decides.

I just pray each day, that in some crazy twist of fate, I don't end up on the side of the dead just yet. I have still much to accomplish and complete before I am ready for my number to be called up. But then again, the unpredictability of one's mortality is a constant reminder that we must have no debts or outstanding unfinished business at the end of each day ... because we are not sure if tomorrow we are here to continue what we started.

Times are a bit crazy now, I pray you find the inner strength to ride out the hard times and swim clear to enjoy many happy productive years with those you love.

~.ani hope you keep safe always - happy weekend all~


Life's Like That said...

I always believe in fate. If your time is up, your time is up. Just like tose 11 poor souls who died b'cos one clown decided to kill himself, or not.

I still remember the incident in France a few years back where the last commercial Concorde flight ended up in disaster. It ploughed into some apartments at the end of the runway killing quite a fair bit on the ground. Those poor souls at home thot they were as safe as can be at home but their time was up!

akuani said...

LLT : I agree with the fate bit. I always say if your numbers up it is up ... no nego here.

But I guess this incident just gets you wondering about the logic in this thing called fate - hence the conclusion is there is no logic in the context of fate.

Yup I remember that incident too ... instead of a big bang happy it was a big bang tragic ..

*smiles* ... really appreciate the visits LLT. Have a super weekend ahead.