Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

8 February 2008

Lost My Identity ... Feb 08, 2008

.ani losses here identity??? HOW is that possible??? Well it seems it's happened and there's nothing I can do about it. I think it must over 12 years now since I first ventured into online and became a global citizen somewhat that people have known me as .ani, where some even go to the extent of saying hi dot ani ... it's funny but it's me! You know what I mean?

Of course it also comes with a lot of jokes at my expense like ani.com and worse when they actually see my official name does have the '@' in it ... they ask are you really a dot com??? SHEEZ!

Why .ani? Why not !ani or ani! or ?ani or ani? or wings or boobs or whatever .... why .ani? Well is seemed like a good idea at the time and it caught on with everyone and oh wait maybe it was an offshoot from .sha my good pal and it was just my way of humbly putting forth my ideas or thoughts. Seemed like an extension of the already multi-layered me.

But recently, someone took my .ani and made it ani. ... ok ok there's nothing to it really ... they have the same Anita and they could call themselves Ani too ... just seemed so odd to see others refering to this person as Ani and seeing ani. ani. ani. all over the place.

I've no grievance upon the person. They are welcome too to use whatever they are comfortable with but it has seemed to have somewhat killed a part of me that's been there for over a decade now. An identity. I never had to explain further who I was if I signed off .ani - it was enough immediately people knew who I was.

The lady is a nice lady much older than myself and has had several challenges in life which are inspiring to see how she has overcome. She calls me friend too and is very supportive of my ramblings. But it was really weird.

So weird that it has completely put me off being online. I lost interest in posting on forums I belonged to. In fact I dreaded posting on the same threads as she did because at the onset of her 'identity theft' (I am so territorial aren't I?) there was some confusion as to who was posting.

ani. can easily be mistaken for .ani - and her views are on the other end of the scale to mine. I think I am more vocal and brutally honest in comparison. Some readers mistook her postings to be mine. After some such instances, I began avoiding sharing my thoughts on any post she'd written on and if she wrote on a post after I did, I never revisited that post again ... there was a sick feeling in my tummy.

I felt this strongly because up until the point she'd gotten to interacting with me, she used to sign off with her full name Anita followed by surname. After chatting with me, I found this subtle change and it troubled me. I wanted to laugh at myself that I allowed such an event to affect me.

But I guess when you're already battling so many things in your life, such subtle encroachment into one's 'territory' even if it's an identity, it can have quite drastic effects.

I left the group she was on, I left all the other groups she sporadically popped up in. And I hardly am active on the network anymore. There's a probability that she might read this post ... do I have a concern if she does?

Actually no. I mean I am allowed to feel what I feel or felt. And since distancing myself from that network and this mayhap flattering copycat, I feel a lot better. I am amongst friends who have always known me as .ani and amongst friends who know me as a person. Not with people who one moment think it works for them to be 'seen' in my company and when it's gained its mileage to drop me from their contact lists.

I am also just going through a revisit of needs and online time is not really top priority ... offline I am still .ani to good friends ... and happy to be so ...

ani. can have the forums and threads ... so long as she finds joy in it. My enthusiasm and spirit was culled when I was not .ani the uniquely individual and so I left ... I have my blog space to do my rantings and voicing of matters that I feel strongly about. So lesser people might be reading them but hey ... that don't matter either.

Anyone stole your identity lately???

No comments: