Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

7 September 2010

Going Home ... Sept 07, 2010

It has been months since I last wrote anything in this blog. A couple of reasons contributed to this silence i.e.
  • I moved into my own apartment and not gotten internet services installed
  • I seem to have lost the art of stringing words for the lack of muse
  • I have become a TV addict seeing as there is nothing else on hand to do once I get home
  • I spend loads of time in the kitchen experimenting with Malaysian food giving it my own touch - no fatalities to date :)
So instead of writing for the sake of writing, I have kept silence. I spend long hours on my weekends sprawled out on my hall sofa with the TV on usually on Fox Series having an overdose of CSI Miami/NY, ER reruns, Army Wives, Mental, The Listener, Criminal Minds and my favourite of all Ugly Betty.

Aside from that I may at times flood my mind with struggling to grasp my father's tongue an essential in surviving Dubai - Malayalam by watching the news or movies and picking bits of the dialogue and then asking colleagues the next day what something meant if I couldn't decipher it.

Otherwise it is watching rather fascinated at the extremes Arabic music videos are .... barely clothed women to super orthodox. Their videos are either super sexual content or gun/sword/cane waving and violence and dying 'jihadis' .... never fails to leave me wondering about this part of the world.

But today I am excited. I am going home over the Eid holidays to see my girls after 4 long months and trust me when you're a mother, 4 months feels like an eternity.

Every time I call home to speak to them, they sound so different, and I feel a huge stab at how much of their growing up I am not going to see with my own eyes. What keeps me going is knowing this separation is because I've had to try to find a way to earn a bit more for our futures.

I had decided not to over indulge them out of guilt and I have to say yesterday when I was grabbing a quick bite at the Express Carrefour in my apartment building, I felt an urge to go nuts on the chocolate aisle throwing in all their favourite chocs into my basket - aside from that being completely unhealthy, I also had to remind myself with the stronger RM every AED I took home meant a better exchange rate to cover the monthly expenses I still have to service.

But I know when I land in KLIA tomorrow afternoon, I am likely to succumb the call of the choc-shop and buy some for them. In fact I am already thinking if while killing time in T3 Dubai this evening, I should give in and by them each a lil pink camel :) ... coz it has always been my habit to buy them stuffed toys of local animals .... being in the desert what else is there that I can buy ehehhe but camels :D

I hardly slept a wink last night. Tossing and turning till my alarm rang to shower and dress for work. Too excited. Knowing that the never ending silence I face in Dubai will be completely shattered from the moment I walk in through the gates of home. And for the next 6 days it will be the usual war mediator, traffic warden and mommy to snuggle up with.

Am sure there will be versions of the same incident - one from Ashna and one from Kasha - both completely bowling me over that both my babies are growing up so fast. Every time I see babies and toddlers here I remember when I first held them in my arms. Now Ashna was almost my height when I left with Kasha chasing behind.

Am looking forward to home. Local food I miss so much here in Dubai. Sights sounds smells and the green as opposed to the sand here. Perhaps a little rain even :D .... that be awesome. To smell the world after a nice rain when everything looks washed and cleaned.

Perhaps the desert has parched my soul, and being from the tropics, I need the rain to feel REALLY alive again.

Catch you all when I get back or maybe I might write some when at home, inspired because home is where the heart is .... and my heart always remains Malaysian.

Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends and happy holidays to the rest .....

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