Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

4 January 2010

Kicking Of 2010 ... Jan 04, 2010

Over the years, I have usually summed up the year on the last day of the year. Looked back fretted and fumed and laughed at all the nonsense I manage to find myself in somehow in the 365/366 days of a year.

The recent past years have been anything but a struggle. End of 2008 saw some major drama on the work scene that left me rather in an awkward position. The first 4 months of 2009 saw me in a sort of cold storage and a waiting game was played out. And then I was put here there everywhere it seemed and I still managed to find a smile to irk the higher beings who were playing this game with me.

2nd half of 2009 also saw me suddenly buried with work on client side with my colleague. Months on end we've been there on client side - it almost feels like we work for them - which isn't too bad a thing.

But as 2009 was rounding off, some interesting things began to happen. I mean all the tiresome divorce nonsense has to take it's course. But other interesting things.

The most significant being a promise to myself at the start of Jan'09. It was time and it was executed at the end of 2009 ... sorta like the end of the Decade from Hell, I decided it was time to put all these misadventures behind me. Things weren't 100% carved in stone but it felt right to shed the inhibitions and the anxieties and drop the dead-weights I'd had around my ankles all these years and let the phoenix rise within my heart and soul.

And I feel I made the right decision here (I don't too many good ones I realise looking back eheheh). People need to follow their heart sometimes.

Christmas 2009 was a small affair at home with brother, sister and hubby, parents and kids and my grandma. On Christmas Eve almost 20yrs since the 3 George siblings went for Christmas Service together. It was an amazing feeling of togetherness after such a long time. On Boxing Day we had a small group over for a BBQ dinner - everyone who came left with a feel good feeling and we had a blast hosting everyone and planning all the food.

My girls had a blast with their friends whose parents are now new friends found. Old friends came to make it an extended family occasion.

We had something to be thankful for. Dad's operation on his foot went well and the wound is healing well. Albeit it's a long recovery journey since Dad's diabetic we praise God and thank everyone for their prayers in those trying days before the operation.

Year end with one plan executed, I was in a chirpy mood relaxed. And when I received one of the sweetest surprises ever - something I didn't ever expect to happen. Perhaps like all things, all things happen at the right time and for the right reasons. I guess you could say it was a New Year gift I'd never dreamt of and yet it feels so right to accept and nurture and watch over as it grows. To the giver of this most awesome gift, you infused endless days of smiles and I return them to you in threefold :) ...

Then this first school day of the year and working day ... when traffic is at its snarling best. Accidents galore left right of the highway and realising some people may have been fatally hurt as a result, I got into a bit of cash eheheh - yeah I was the first pair of contestants for the new mix.fm Morning Crew's GenderBender segment ... cash so early in the morning and cash coming not going out :) - why would that not put a smile on my face on a wet Monday morning???

So albeit late to work thanks to traffic, I have felt thankful for the good things that I have experienced so far. Of course the usual comic tragedies in my life will persist I know - but the thing is, I feel 'come on take your best shot at me! I am raring to take you on'.

Perhaps 2010 feels all clean slate and canvas with nothing on it. Time to take out the brushes and paint.

And I feel the collage of 2010 may take on happier hues than it's predecessors. Those were painted by an unhappy almost beaten soul struggling. Those struggles are far from over but everything feels different somehow.

More promise and hope. More joys to be found than sorrows to be overcome. At least I hope the positive note in which the year has kicked off will continue and I will continue to look ahead buoyant in spirit.

I know I am easily knocked down but I have learnt to dust off and stand up and it's getting harder to knock me down these days. And that is something I am grateful for. Life's taught me to fight back for what I believe in and for those I believe in.

Life's also taught me that when I least expect to be loved for the person I am, someone out there tells me how special I am to them. And if that's not a soul booster to know I have touched someone's life without knowing, that just makes me believe in life again I don't know what is :)

Happy 2010 everyone ... am on my last year of 30 ... and the 40s looms ahead. I made myself a promise that by 40 am going to break out of my cocoon and take on the world in my beautiful colours ... and with all your love and prayers ... how can I fail??

As always .ani sends love and best wishes to you my friends and to the world. Let's make 2010 memorable in our book of life.

1 comment:

nanda666 said...

happy new year to you!!!!