It has been one of those weeks where I’ve had my drive to and from alone because I am at my client’s place. Such instances of solitude often give me the time to reflect. Anybody who knows me knows I think too much.
I have a tendency of taking little bits of conversations and actions and mulling over it. Rolling it over my mind. The exchanges, the body language and the immediate outcome as well as the after effects of such instances in my life.
And in the recent few weeks I have come to observe another interesting trait about people. And come to also realise that the inherent nature of people will eventually be exposed no matter how matter self help and improvement books they read or courses they attend in the hope of acquiring some new more public persona.
This is because inherent nature is in your genes. You’ve worked very hard all your life to try and quell these displays because you want people to perceive you in a certain way. I’ve through my many interactions through the years and in my ever learning and absorbing state, have seen all kinds. Been often too at the receiving end of these people because as silly as it sounds, I have a pretty gullible soul – yes yes I admit it. I am gullible in believing that inside each of us there is a goodness we just need to look hard enough to find it in the next person.
Time and again, I’ve been greatly disappointed, when someone I have given access to my life and me as a person has proved to be a bad move. I carry a heart that has been broken so many times that there are times now I think I might not survive another disappointment but then again I am built to be a survivor. No matter what happens, I try to see a lesson in it and learn from and avoid such repeats in the next encounter.
Let me give you an example. If I was to have something, information that might assist someone, the only working phone or pc, the only one with a car to move people with, I wouldn’t hesitate to say come let me help you out here. I do it without considering that I might have to drive 40km out of my way just to help this person out. I just do it, because I feel if I am in a capacity to help.
But I note that for some the potential of someone asking them for a favour or assistance is preempted by a ready excuse of prior commitments. Or if they are forced into having to offer say a ride to someplace, they will first make known how bad the traffic is where you're heading. Some people are rather thick-skinned though such hints they ignore. I on the other hand if I get a vibe like that immediately will refuse the 'offer' because I hate feeling indebted especially when it's not entirely sincere.
Small things really give you insight into people. Being far from perfect myself, I realised the other day that many of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis are amazing actors. They have learned their lines and expressions and interaction skills from self help books and mind over matter type gurus. They do pretty damn well in life - which is GREAT, I don't deny. Others find themselves saying or referring to so-and-so who is just soooooooooooo perfect in everything. Even I am sometimes taken in by these amazing displays.
And then you sit down one day and have a leisurely chat or in a given situation watch these persons a little more closely. Their expressions, their automatic reactions, their thoughts and then you see the true self behind the facade and you are dumbstruck. I know I am usually dumb-struck.
Humans are an amazing creation. And in that amazing creation we have what I would call the inherent nature of a person. Which is like the genes that make you up, the blood that flows in your veins. That is probably why I try really hard to no longer buy into the image people sell to me of themselves. I try to take them as they come and expect nothing to be what it seems.
Some of you might think this is a rather negative way to live life. But if you have lived my life in my shoes and experienced the number of 'fools gold' type souls I have encountered you might begin to understand my approach.
Knowing that I myself am less than perfect or good, I can accept now these little white lies people perpetuate of themselves in this thing we call living because we all always do what we must to survive. If you try to be the real you, people may hate you, people may use you ... depends on which end of the reality scale you fall in.
At the moment, I am learning to just be me as I am. I take precautions to avoid being used and hurt, I avoid expecting anything from the 'good souls', I avoid disliking the 'less than human souls' because I suppose everyone has a story behind who they are today.
But if you are inherently good or inherently have the tendency to hurt or be selfish - eventually life has a way of displaying your true self when you least expect it. And I recently have had the interesting experience of seeing someone in 'naked truth' ... none of their practiced perfection could save them when their inherent nature reared it's head.
I had to come away laughing ... and I thought to myself thankfully I can live with my flaws, I wonder if this person can live with theirs to put so much effort into personality projection.
Anyhows I hope you're having a good week, I am off now to look into other jumbled thoughts and sporadic musings.
Be well all, we live in dangerous times!
I have a tendency of taking little bits of conversations and actions and mulling over it. Rolling it over my mind. The exchanges, the body language and the immediate outcome as well as the after effects of such instances in my life.
And in the recent few weeks I have come to observe another interesting trait about people. And come to also realise that the inherent nature of people will eventually be exposed no matter how matter self help and improvement books they read or courses they attend in the hope of acquiring some new more public persona.
This is because inherent nature is in your genes. You’ve worked very hard all your life to try and quell these displays because you want people to perceive you in a certain way. I’ve through my many interactions through the years and in my ever learning and absorbing state, have seen all kinds. Been often too at the receiving end of these people because as silly as it sounds, I have a pretty gullible soul – yes yes I admit it. I am gullible in believing that inside each of us there is a goodness we just need to look hard enough to find it in the next person.
Time and again, I’ve been greatly disappointed, when someone I have given access to my life and me as a person has proved to be a bad move. I carry a heart that has been broken so many times that there are times now I think I might not survive another disappointment but then again I am built to be a survivor. No matter what happens, I try to see a lesson in it and learn from and avoid such repeats in the next encounter.
Let me give you an example. If I was to have something, information that might assist someone, the only working phone or pc, the only one with a car to move people with, I wouldn’t hesitate to say come let me help you out here. I do it without considering that I might have to drive 40km out of my way just to help this person out. I just do it, because I feel if I am in a capacity to help.
But I note that for some the potential of someone asking them for a favour or assistance is preempted by a ready excuse of prior commitments. Or if they are forced into having to offer say a ride to someplace, they will first make known how bad the traffic is where you're heading. Some people are rather thick-skinned though such hints they ignore. I on the other hand if I get a vibe like that immediately will refuse the 'offer' because I hate feeling indebted especially when it's not entirely sincere.
Small things really give you insight into people. Being far from perfect myself, I realised the other day that many of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis are amazing actors. They have learned their lines and expressions and interaction skills from self help books and mind over matter type gurus. They do pretty damn well in life - which is GREAT, I don't deny. Others find themselves saying or referring to so-and-so who is just soooooooooooo perfect in everything. Even I am sometimes taken in by these amazing displays.
And then you sit down one day and have a leisurely chat or in a given situation watch these persons a little more closely. Their expressions, their automatic reactions, their thoughts and then you see the true self behind the facade and you are dumbstruck. I know I am usually dumb-struck.
Humans are an amazing creation. And in that amazing creation we have what I would call the inherent nature of a person. Which is like the genes that make you up, the blood that flows in your veins. That is probably why I try really hard to no longer buy into the image people sell to me of themselves. I try to take them as they come and expect nothing to be what it seems.
Some of you might think this is a rather negative way to live life. But if you have lived my life in my shoes and experienced the number of 'fools gold' type souls I have encountered you might begin to understand my approach.
Knowing that I myself am less than perfect or good, I can accept now these little white lies people perpetuate of themselves in this thing we call living because we all always do what we must to survive. If you try to be the real you, people may hate you, people may use you ... depends on which end of the reality scale you fall in.
At the moment, I am learning to just be me as I am. I take precautions to avoid being used and hurt, I avoid expecting anything from the 'good souls', I avoid disliking the 'less than human souls' because I suppose everyone has a story behind who they are today.
But if you are inherently good or inherently have the tendency to hurt or be selfish - eventually life has a way of displaying your true self when you least expect it. And I recently have had the interesting experience of seeing someone in 'naked truth' ... none of their practiced perfection could save them when their inherent nature reared it's head.
I had to come away laughing ... and I thought to myself thankfully I can live with my flaws, I wonder if this person can live with theirs to put so much effort into personality projection.
Anyhows I hope you're having a good week, I am off now to look into other jumbled thoughts and sporadic musings.
Be well all, we live in dangerous times!
No comments:
Post a Comment