Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

14 May 2009

Wanting Children ... May 14, 2009

I have been reading the news and the matters that I read always provide endless fodder for me to ruminate upon *eheheh does the image of a cow chewing cud come to mind?*

I was reading this morning in TheStar online about the plight of abandoned children who over and above being abandoned, have no birth certificates which then disallows them from being registered for school their only chance at somehow getting somewhere in life - an education.

Apparently if your parents weren't educated or informed to have your birth registered and they had no other choice but to then abandon you due to their own poverty or whatever contributory reasons, you the already abandoned traumatised child could forget about trying to get an education to fend for yourself in the future.

This all deciding birth certificate was the piece of paper so vital for that journey to commence.

I wonder really if abandoned children need some more persecution than that they have already endured. I know some are fortunate to be adopted by loving caring couples who proceed to make up for their biological loss providing these children opportunities that they probably never would have had, had their biological parents held on to them.

This is quite a 2 edged sword isn't it?

There are couples wanting children. And then there are wanting children. Both are very different in nature and circumstances. The former are people who want so much to hold and to love a child of their own creation. To guide and nurture to watch over and share family memories with.

The latter on the other hand are children wanting all of what the former can give but don't get because of their circumstance of birth.

If only both lives would merge ... and then there would no longer be any wanting for either. But that's the oddity of life. We never seem to get what we want. Or if we do it's often through a huge long journey. Some of these journeys end with fairy tale happy endings. Some seem to take on the hue of fairy tales, but suddenly become horror stories as well. There's never knowing which side of the coin is coming up for which party.

I was reading the other day a piece on a former Miss Malaysia - Samantha Schubert, who herself is an adopted child who went on to represent Malaysia at the Ms World I think years ago. She is now married and settled in the UK and she adopted 2 Indian children a girl and boy and now has her own biological son. And I thought how many would go out to give children such a wonderful gift of another shot at life with better circumstances. I have to take my hat off to Samantha for looking beyond skin and colour and creed.

I know quite some people who have done that. Some because they could not have biological children. Some because they had the capacity to take in abandoned children to love and nurture as their own. Had I been a hugely successful financially secure person, I know I too would like to extend my love and home to some child. But I have to be realistic, I am capable of loving more than my own 2 daughters, but financially I would not be able to sustain all of us. So perhaps my time has yet to come, perhaps it will in time.

Children are God's blessings. Although it still continues to baffle me how people can throw their babies in dustbins, public toilets, under bushes leaving that innocent child to its own fate, I guess they too have their reasons and their own journeys to travel.

I wish though adults were more responsible in their actions. Then perhaps we would not read so many unhappy stories. And more importantly I wish that once the child is born that they at least make the effort to record the birth and give that child a legitimacy to at least get an education.

But I do not know their reasons, so I cannot judge their actions. I do know however, that it is not good to further hurt an already hurting child. Give them a chance at life it's already laid with obstacles don't be one of the obstacles then.

Let there be less wanting children in the world, and perhaps we may in some form or manner contribute to better their tomorrows and not pose more obstacles.


Kerp (Ph.D) said...

yeaaaa...read about samantha's 2 adopted children. i was really touched reading her story. to me, she's a real role model of our society. oh, and she's gorgeous too.

anfield devotee said...

oh yeah, kerp, how ye wishes ye was her adopted pet . . .

nanda666 said...

sailed with an Indian Captain once and he had an interesting take on this.
"Humans are selfish. We can only love someone we created and that is why adoption rates are so low in India.Our capacity to love others is restricted."

Watching Discovery Channel, I found that some species are even worse. The dominant male will kill the offsprings of another male. (Lions, Gorillas, etc.)

Most of the time we come up with all sorts of excuses not to do something.

As you said, you have the capacity for 2 children. What if you had 3? (Of your own.) would you not somehow make it work for all 3?

It's great that you put up this piece. It a start that shows there are people out there who still care.

I've met a number of expats here that have adopted children (Mainly indian kids) as well as kids of their own and it is so nice to se them playing together as equals.

me and the missus will surely look into this for Maya's next bro/sis.

.ani said...

Nanda: If I had 3 of my own I would love all equally as if I had a 3rd who was an adopted child in addition to my girls.

My limitation is that I am fully aware how I am struggling to give both the same go at everything because of my limited funds. I am sure if I had a 3rd or 4th or 5th ... I'd manage :)) but I am also a realist, and the lack of a endless well of finances is already quite tight on me, I wonder if love alone would help us all through the trials.

Glad you liked this piece Nanda ... and I'm sure Maya and the other children who share yours and wifey's life will be truly blessed!