Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

14 February 2009

Happy Valentine's .... Feb 14, 2009

HAPPY VALENTINE's everybody .... another annual coming and going of insane prices of everything deemed romantic :))

Boxer's in a knot boyfriends and husbands cracking their unimaginative skulls for ideas to romance their women ... if only they did it more often and consistently throughout the year, I can bet you that the significant other would be less critical of whatever you tried to get her on this annual day of mad display of love.

Having said that ... I'm sitting here on me laptop at 6pm when everyone else is likely getting ready to go out ... for a quiet dinner and/or movie, maybe there's flowers, perfume, little diamonds in a box and maybe even the odd over the top proposals on bended knee.

Stopped feeling sad and lonely and weepy some years back. Given up on my so called lost knight without his GPS - it's been so many years now, he'd find me with me angels and he might be a little turned off by that proposal. So yeah .ani is still yet loveless on this day of love professing. It's ok, gotten used to watching all the nutty displays and smiling to myself. Nice to know at least once a year people make the effort.

On FB, I saw a video made by a friend for his wifey. And I admit soppy romantic me cried. It might have been the song, it might have been the amazing pictures of his wife he'd put together or it might be the fact that I know and love them both immensely and such a lovely from the heart gift shared with people who know them to me was an interesting way to tell his wife 'I love you'.

People seem to need a reason to say those 3 little words. On any other given day, even though there are those who make the time and effort to tell those closest and dearest to our hearts we love them, most in general don't. We keep it aside, like an after thought to do it at a later date or time, usually under the auspice of birthdays, weddings, Christmas, New Year and Valentine.

If I remember correctly, whenever I've said I Love You Too, that's usually been the turning point in the relationship - they other person stops loving me - haahahahahahhaahah. So in some recent times I thought ok ok I won't say I love you anymore leave alone with the "Too" which incidently reflects that it was a response to someone else saying it first. Instead I might tell people I really cared about, I really like you, or even maybe I like you more than I should - it would seem that from statistics that it has just about the same effect as me responding I love you too.

So now .ani decides, other than my 2 angels, my immediate family i.e. parents, grandma, siblings and some really really really close and dear friends who do actually love me too, I ain't never going to say those words ever again. Even if I meet someone eventually (coz me meeting anyone I could want to fall hopelessly in love with is as distant a chance as Najib and Anwar being best friends! you know what I mean??) am just going to keep me trap shut, and pretend it ain't love I feel, and just let it go along unacknowledged. It's probably better just hanging abouts as friends platonic ones than ever telling anyone I care - it apparently scares the shits outta them and they disappear faster than I can blink.

So Valentine's comes and goes. It's never been an extra special day for me. Although in my soppiest of moments, I get all mushy and kinda wish I too would be surprised with flowers, nice dinners and maybe even a diamond or two - ahahahha yeah right!! Actually I am not at all that materialistic, just a simple I love you .ani and thank you for being in my life would make me all weak in the knees and oogly eyed ehehehehe - yeah am a really 'cheap date' - I remember Jacob saying that once and laughing about it ... not into all the fancy smancy type displays ... if it's from the heart, and I know it is ... it's something I carry for life.

Happy Valentine's everyone ... like the message I sent out late last night to friends :"May you always delight in the joy of loving and being loved" ... indeed may you always continue to love for it is a gift to be shared and given (as Woody reminded me in his reply text) and in return may you always be loved for the awesome person you are.

Love, Hugs and Kisses to everyone!
.ani the Valentine~less ehehhe (what a title!)

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