Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

17 July 2008

Let's Talk If You Have Money ... Jul 17, 2008

Paying Big for a Little Love

I was quite taken in by this article. And like the writer, I have come into acknowledging if not having to accept to an extent that these days turning to a paid escort for a little loving is no longer just the a man’s option but more and more of our empowered ladies with the money to spare are turning to this form of gratification rather than embarking on the whole commitment emotional roller coaster of relationships.

After all what is the promise that after all that effort and energy this is the one that’s going to keep you happy ever after. Men have always had the option of partners outside the marriage and in almost every nook of this world when a man takes a colourful walk outside the definitions of committed relationship everyone is quick to forgive his discretions solely on the premise that after all he is a man and men are built to be polygamous.

But financial liberation for women has meant that women are now more often than not also bringing in the bacon and if demographics are right, then women are in several instances earning more than the men. This gives the quick thinking man an interesting opportunity.

If you have seen me in person, you’d know I’m about as attractive as the behind of a camel (no insult intended to the aforesaid camel!)

But as I get older and get closer to 40, it seems I fall into an interesting category of women.

I have been married and now single parent as a result of circumstance
I am working hence I have my own income
I have wheels of my own (albeit aging and not so hot)
I have education, am informed enough to sustain interesting conversations (wait this might appall some people who are of the opinion I’m without perspective)

Aside from the fact there are 2 kids in my life and I unfortunately live with my parents and not in my own funky pad (although I’d really like to have my own home with my own reflection of deco – beggars cannot be choosers am just glad me and the girls have a roof over our heads for now – things WILL get better I tell myself!)

Being the netizen I am, and chatter too, I’ve had some very interesting experiences with guys especially the ones younger to me. At 37, I feel like a grand old aunt to some of these 20 some things. If they don’t outright come out and tell you all they really want is some older woman to have a good time with because she’s experienced (whatever that might mean!), they skirt around the issue, they get flirty and drop sexual innuendos, and eventually ask you if you’re interested to meet up and take it from there. First time free – what a deal!

Now, I suppose in my state of affairs, I should be extremely flattered any chap would want to spend his time with me. I mean I have to admit, I’m not one of the easiest people to be with hence I realize that these chaps have no clue what they are asking for. To date I have not accepted any of these offers or invites. I do anything because I want to, and a gigolo isn’t really up my alley. (Errr ok .ani is reminding herself that people out there will be thinking she’s so full of shit ahhaha)

Men I find to be a strange breed of their own. And men like to brag about their conquests. Trust me on this. Usually when a younger chap starts talking about his prowess in satisfying women, he’ll drop examples and if the woman is someone famous enough to raise an eyebrow or two, he’ll have no qualms gloating over the episode.

Kinda brings to mind a conversation recently about a very well known local celebrity,a bi-sexual and who kept it top secret who fathered her child. The self proclaimed father on the other hand was heard bragging to other men about how she the super famous one carried HIS child – like err hello? She could have opted to abort if she wanted to. She wanted a baby, you delivered the sperm – that’s as far as your fame and glory goes. Ok given nobody is going to be gloating about an evening with me – I am not a narcissist to think anyone would want to admit being in my company is such a compromising situation.

I think this evolution is interesting and yet scary. The equation and balance of who wore the pants is shifting. And the repercussions of these shifts are also evolving. I am not sure if one can blame anyone or anything in specific but (wo)man is evolving and with that evolution comes emancipation of genders.

Many men are more than happy to sit back and let the ladies do all the work and bring in the bacon and take care of the family’s financial needs. All it means is that men are now suddenly finding themselves with interesting array of opportunities.

Like Dina Zaman’s friend pointed out that the Datins are openly flaunting their little toy boys, well afterall the Datuk is out there chasing some SPG equivalent himself – alls fair in love and war and making money. Times are hard.

Prostitution is slavery says Dina.

I am wondering if prostitution was by own choice not forced or sold into it, not due to social or financial circumstance but by one’s own will, is it still a slavery? Are you then a slave to the earnings you pocket that helps you chase bigger dreams? I wonder.

There is a blog I have read of a girl in Singapore who began prostituting herself from as young as 15 I think and she’s in university now somewhere in the US. She’s not from a poor family. And her family remains in the dark of this life she leads. To her it a means to get her a lifestyle and a thrill. She’s enjoying her experience. No regrets to date recorded on her blog. I wondered how it must be to be her living her life on these rules.

There’s also a few blogs of boys up for the highest bidder. Most interesting journeys. Are they slaves too? To what is my question?

People are doing things by their own free will how is that slavery? Also I tend to disagree with Dina on the in exchange for money under the illusion of love and relief … I think those who are involved in such choices are clearly aware why they are there. It’s all about the money and no one is disillusioned to believe there’s any love or relief (ok perhaps sexual relief) in the package.

If they had such illusions, then they are living the ‘Pretty Woman’ fairytale and likely to end up bitter people.

Anyways, sex for money is readily at hand for men and women today here in Muslim Malaysia as Dina puts it. Sexual liberation? I dunno what that the motivation is, but perhaps this is yet another evolution of peoples under the pressing realities of today.

.ani thinks people makes choices, we cannot judge their choices. Only they know the reasons for their actions.

1 comment:

John said...

Hi Animol,

Great and thought provoking piece. Liked it. I have written a piece on this post on my blog, please check it out.

However prostitution is slavery in India as women are bought and sold into it. Most of the victims are themselves not aware what they are getting into because the man who marries them turn out to be the pimp who sells them to the brothels.

it's a shame and the practice prevails in India despite the work of many NGOs. The police have a part as they are in league with these anti-socials.

However, i do think engaging an escort is offensive. Why not give love a chance, even when you are frustrated by it. Otherwise the teachings of the Bible and many of our holy books will go waste.

Just my tuppence...

J