Why I Write ...

Purely as a form of expression to the emotions that run riot in my life at different junctures. This blog has seen several title revisions that also reflect the state of being and evolution I am constantly in. If one were to remain stagnant in hope of never changing their temporal present, one will awaken someday to much regret. Life is about living, evolving and adapting to the constant changes all around us.

My spot on the web is essentially a journey along with my monologue ramblings of my coherent mind accompanied by the incoherent thing called life. Read me if you like ... if you don't it is not the end of the world. I am at the very least a believer in humility lifts us further than pride.

Happy trails

29 May 2008

Older Woman Younger Man vs Older Man Younger Woman May 29, 2008

This was the topic on the radio this morning as I was driving to work. And it's really funny but the reality is that there are many of these couples out there ...

Hell I dated Jaan for 18mths and he was 8 years my junior - those are moments until today I cannot classify as yet ... I was happy that someone loved me, and I was devastated that the same someone could hurt me so much.

After the 2 strikes with Jacob who happens to be my age, with Jaan who was 8 years junior and a very short attempt at trying to work a long distance relationship with Woody who was 9 years senior - I came to one simple conclusion.

It really makes no difference what the age difference is. It makes no difference what race or religion he is from and you are from. It makes no difference thinking he will be different from all the rest. In the end, it's about 2 people who care about each other and wish to see each other move forward and achieve what's good for them.

Relationships work because people work at it. Relationship exist happily because the people in it are happy being together.

Old man young girl or old girl young man - really is not the cause of concern here but rather what are these two people trying to achieve together or on their own.

I'm not some hot thing, but I do have men both young and old pay me compliments, show a keen interest in wanting to know me better, some what more than just a friend, some want to move it to another level - this another level is rather sensitive - it could be casual sex, it could be commitment, it could be a myriad of things.

And I remain single by choice now. I have my fair share of moments where my heart skips a beat or two at the pretty words some guy throws my way. I am after all a woman and still alive and there are needs that remain unattended to.

The choice is simple because I have not found the one I am looking for. And as many of my men friends would say, perhaps the one I am looking for only exists in my mind ... no man could ever meet those standards I seek.

Well if he exists only in my mind then so be it. I shall remain faithful to he who I see as mine, the one I see myself sharing my todays and tomorrows making them yesterdays to smile looking back on. The legion of 'fans' as Ilyas teased me the other day remain that, fans with misplaced affections for me perhaps or men I can always be candid and unplugged and uncensored with in my thoughts and conversations. And these same men come and go like the tide upon the shoreline.

They vary in age ... some older, some thereabouts and mostly younger. Some married, some divorced, mostly single men setting out into the world.

Most tell me they find me different, unique one of a kind. And I always point out that is because other than what we might share or confide in each other over the phone, or texts, conversations or emails, I am not disillusioned as to where our relationship stands - which is firmly friends. I have no expectations of having myself swept off my feet. I have no expectations that any of them will take my breath away - that 'X' factor is not there as in I have not sensed it in any of them.

I have left my options open. I will get my divorce decree to close one chapter. And I shall live life as it comes. No more expectation of some guy falling head over heels in love with me. no prince charming, no knights in shining armour who will take me and my girls away from all this to never never land where we shall live happily after ...

Nope none of that melodrama. I say options are open because, if someone does come along and does take my breath away and does show me that sometimes the most childish of dreams do come true ... I won't turn away from it.

I will give it my best shot and so will he I suppose and so will Ashna and Kasha too ... I've given up thinking about what race, what age, what background - if a man is serious about me, I will know it in my bones ...

For now to all those in love, give two hoots to societal taboos and falsely imposed restrictions on the premise of morality or whatever people use to thwart love, and give your relationship a good shot at being the one.

Younger guys need some mothering and maturity, older guys need to feel like they still rock your world. The same goes for the the women on either side of the scale ... and in the end it's about the respect and love you share ...

Don't fret about the detractors - they are probably wishing they were in your shoes ... living the loves of their lives :))

Be happy all ...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for some time. Chanced upon it when I was searching for something and I must I have a great admiration for you and your outlook on life. You have picked yourself up and moved on. Keep up the fighting spirit and I believe that in time, you will meet someone that you deserve! Do take care